Weird sh*t you think when you’re pregnant.
A couple of first-time-pregnant friends and I were discussing our pregnancies the other day (my historic ones, just to clarify!) and how it can really mess with your head.
It’s incredibly overwhelming.
I thought I’d share some of their thoughts and questions while their feelings are so fresh – do you remember having crazy (but not really) thoughts like this?
The bump itself.
“Throughout it has felt unreal and surreal. Even seeing my body grow with a baby hasn’t quite brought it home to me about what’s happening. I suppose many women must feel like that but it’s a strange feeling that makes me question if I’m ready.”
“It’s so strange knowing (and seeing!) something huge is about to happen, and that you’re life is going to change so much, but not exactly knowing how.”
“How is it [the bump] ever going to go back to normal? Terrifying!”
Bonding & labour.
“Does everyone talk to their swollen belly? I haven’t. Not because I’m heartless, but because it just doesn’t quite seem natural to me. Does this mean I’m not normal?!”
“I ask myself, should I feel overwhelming love for this person growing inside me? I don’t yet – and maybe this means I’m a disconnected women who isn’t going to love her child. Or is it normal to think that… Does everyone go through this before the baby arrives?”
“I think I’m ready and that my body will labour no problem. How naive. When you are sitting and waiting past the due date it suddenly dawns on you that maybe you will be one of the women who it doesn’t go smoothly for. That maybe it’s time to mentally prepare for that! Maybe the elective c-section is a better idea?!”
Massive life change – will I still be me?
“My first couple of weeks of maternity leave were spent in a whirl of plans and trying to do all the things I hadn’t had time to do for weeks! It felt like annual leave. And then, it started to dawn on me that work was done for a year. Wow, exciting, but oh, bloody scary. I’ve never been off work. It’s a huge part of my life and my identity.”
“What if I don’t like the new me? The just being Mum thing?”
“I’ve always been independent and now I’m faced with the prospect of being financially dependent on someone else. Albeit my husband but still, something I find very scary. I’m not a ‘career woman’ but I can now see that I obviously like to have my own independence. Not something I had really fully appreciated before.”
When the baby’s here.
“Is it OK to wonder whether you will get bored of being at home with a small baby? I love spending time with my nieces and nephews and friends’ kids but there are definitely moments when I’ve thought, wow, can I do this all day everyday? Am I going to go crazy?”
“I’ve asked myself whether maybe 6 months of maternity leave would be too much? Maybe I should go back to work earlier. Is that selfish? Or am I going to fall in love at the sight of my newborn and all of these thoughts will suddenly disappear…”
It’s comforting to know other Mums-to-be had the same feelings as me when I was pregnant. Do you remember the big questions & freak-outs you had pre-children? It’s such a confusing time, isn’t it?