A short rant about: Pies

Thu 13 Apr 17 | Just for Fun | 0 comments

Dear pie-makers of Britain. What has become of you? 

Cue nostalgic music and fuzzy black and white olden days footage from days of ‘yore. Whatever they are.

Once upon a pie, I would marvel at my dinner standing upright on its plate all on its own, and savour the moment where I cut into the pastry and the contents oozed out over the mash, leaving crumbly bits all over the plate, inviting me to enjoy every last buttery, crispy, really-bad-for-you mouthful. Steak and ale, chicken, ham and leek, perhaps even a venison and red wine treat in the pub, whatever the flavour NUM NUM NUM.

Cut to today with a record scratch. Be it a Jamie Oliver recipe, your local pub, or the posh restaurant down the road, a pie is apparently just a casserole with a pastry lid. In a nice dish. No actual sides, no buttery base, just plain old china or trendy we’re-so-rustic-tin to scrape your cutlery around in. This, in my opinion, is simply not acceptable.

We must stand up against this uprising of non-pies! Many of us have been missold PPI, but ALL of us are being missold pie.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m also partial to a nice casserole but when I want a pie, I want a proper pie and that means pastry! In my husband and 4 year old’s opinion, it’s the best bit. And it should be stated in the menu – or not called a pie – otherwise surely we can take them down under the trade descriptions act?

Pies have sides. PIES HAVE SIDES! And a base. Basically, pastry all around to keep the yummy contents in. They are not a casserole wearing a hat. 

OK?

I bet the real pie-makers of Britain (if there are any left) are as angry as me about the whole thing. Perhaps we could have a rant together over a steak and ale one day. How do you like your pies? Do you agree or should I just shut my pie-hole?!

This is NOT a pie. Pretty on the surface, yes, but no substance. This relationship ain’t gonna last.

 

This IS a pie. Base, check. Sides, check. Lid, check. PIE!

 

Image credits: Farbled (feat) / zkruger (non pie) / Richard Griffin (pie) / Shutterstock

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