Seven Things I HATE About Halloween
Happy Halloween, apparently. Ugh. Bah humbug it may sound, but I just don’t get it. I hate Halloween and everything about it. And here’s why:
- Identity Crisis. What even is it? Halloween doesn’t even know what it is. In America it’s dress up as anything you like, hilarious, silly, scary, weird it’s just a huge fancy dress party! Here it’s scary, gory, bloody, spooky. And why? Don’t even get me started with the why.
- Why? OK you’ve got me started with the why. All other events printed into diaries have a reason, a history – that many people forget, sure. But you know, Easter & Christmas have preeetttty solid messages, whether you believe in them or not. Giving and receiving, family time, celebrating food and love and happy times (OK Easter is mainly about the chocolate, but harmless fun and some bank holidays go a long way!). Halloween?! I don’t even know how to describe it to a child. Not a clue. (I even Wikipedia’ed it and its page is totally confused.)
- Pumpkins. Huge, heavy, stupid. A massive hunk of fruit (or veg?! Another identity crisis) you waste to carve scary faces out of, amputate several fingers in the process and put tea lights inside. Just for a laugh? I don’t like them at any other time of year, I don’t like them now. Feel a bit sorry for them, mind. Like turkeys at Christmas.
- The scary stuff. My 4 year old is terrified of all the stuff around. He doesn’t get it – skeletons flapping in the breeze, huge spiders in a shopping centre, scary face paint and fake blood. “Mummy why is it all so scary?!” A house a few doors down has gory-looking zombie hands coming out the sides and he anxiously asked me what they were. How could I begin to explain? And I just don’t get why for the 364 other nights of the year we tell our children not to be frightened by monsters, and ghoulies and ghosts, that they don’t exist – but then on this night they’re either supposed to dress up as one or answer the door to some.
- Dressing up. Now, M has never been a fan of dressing up anyway, but I do I understand why kids like to play dress up. I think Little P is gonna love it. But getting us parents to spend money on flammable, crispy, disposable horror costumes is plain stupid. Wasteful and pointless, and dangerous around those tea lights! I’ve also seen a pic of a 4 year old made up like a zombie with blood pouring out of her neck on Facebook this evening… Not cool.
- Trick or Treating. Probably my most detested part of the whole affair. On what other day of the year is it acceptable for kids (big or small) to wander around the streets dressed up in Scream masks begging for sweets and threatening a horrid trick if they don’t get them. I remember some houses getting egged and floured and loo-papered in my childhood. What kind of message is that? Not to mention the sit-in-the-dark-to-pretend-we’re-out tactic we feel the need to adopt…
- The fact it’s got bigger and bigger. Competitive. And totally commercial. Cheers America.
I’m not a particularly ranty person, but surely I’m not alone on this?!
Featured image: Shutterstock / Syda Productions