The problem with a child-free holiday. And it’s not what you think…
Tomorrow we leave for France. Just the husband and I – NO KIDS. I can’t quite believe it.
Three whole days without the mini-usses – trading them for a short break with mates, a villa with a pool, a wedding and inevitably, lots of booze.
It’s the first time we’ve left both of them for longer than a night. Which I think has only happened a handful of time in 4 years anyway. It’s also the first time we will be standing on different soil together without them.
So… you’re probably expecting some pensive ramblings about how I’m going to feel. That I’m dreading the goodbyes (which is true). I’m really going to miss them (despite this post to the contrary)…
But let’s get to the heart of what’s on my mind – like the big, responsible grown-up that I am.
How drunk should I get at the wedding?!
The obvious answer is VERY! Because I can! Because I’m not just sipping a glass of wine on the sofa at 9pm and dozing off to a boxset by half past. To be up at 5.15am to the littlest screaming blue murder because she’s angry she’s awake and still tired (the irony of this being totally lost on her of course).
Oh no. No getting up earlys for us post wedding party! Much lying in and winning at non-parenting. Smug smug smug.
Most of me feels like getting utterly bladdered like the good old days of pre-kids. Dancing like a knob and doing Jaegar Bombs. Singing power ballads with an air guitar til my throat’s sore and the balls of my feet burn. Laughing til I cry and saying things I don’t really remember the next day.
But there are three big problems with that:
a) achieving it, being the lightweight that I am.
b) sadly, I know I will wake up between 5 and 6am anyway. 16 months of consistent crack-of-a-sparrow’s fart wake-ups does that to you.
c) THE HANGOVER. My hangovers are emotional. They’re not just headaches, they’re full body experiences. Normally until the following evening. It is not pretty. And we have sun to bathe in and a pool to dive in the next day only! What a waste that would be!
But what a waste it would be not to let go completely and have an evening to regret for years to come…
Pass the Alka Seltzer.
How would you play it?!