Do you do parenty stuff like this?

Wed 9 Nov 16 | Just for Fun | 19 comments

Words & phrases I’ve only started using since becoming a parent:

  • ‘Nicely’. As in, play ‘nicely’. Eat it ‘nicely’. Walk ‘nicely’. I feel like such a douche as I say it, but what’s the alternative word?! I’m normally saying it loudly so the other parents in the surrounding area can hear I’m at least making an effort.
  • ‘Kind’. Usage: ‘That’s not kind, M’ or ‘Ah she’s given you her toy, that’s kind isn’t it?’. At least it gives us a change from ‘nice/nicely’ above.
  • ‘Share’. When with other children, this is used pretty much every sentence. In pre-parenting life, this was used for social media and large crisp bags/pizza only.
  • ‘Put her down’, as in ‘take her to bed’. This sounds like euthanising a cat to all non-parents.
  • ‘Goodies and baddies’. At some stage into our development, we stop needing to distinguish between people we can trust and those who are nasty. At least, we don’t need a name for them anymore. Now all pretend play involves goodies and baddies, and everyone on the telly needs to go into one of those categories too. “Mummy, I think Mister Maker is a goodie.” I’d agree with that. I think Mr Tumble’s a baddie though. Let’s never put him on the telly again.
  • ‘In a minute’. I’m not sure I ever really used this pre children. I could probably do whatever it was right now. You know, with the lack of arsing about children require of you. Now this phrase is uttered so often it makes me detest the sound of my own voice, and I wonder whether M will ever understand what a ‘minute’ is as it normally takes me an hour to get round to doing what he’s harping on about.
  • ‘Cross’. Because ‘angry’ sounds too harsh. As in: “Mummy’s getting really cross, M.” it’s the same thing as I’M FREAKING FURIOUS but it’s a bit cuter.

Places I’ve only started going as a parent:

  • Garden Centres. Oh dear. Is this where it all starts? The slippery slope to perennials and OAP coffee dates? Seriously love our local one though, amazing for burning off toddler steam, fruit and veg, the toys (huuuge Lego selection) and even, dare I say it, coffee and a cake. What’s happened to me?!
  • Soft play. The stuff of germ-phobe nightmares. And small, active person heaven. Just be prepared for tears and blood at some point, despite the squidginess of most parts, there WILL be a nosebleed or crash into the one non-squishy pole in the place. You will need to take your life savings for an awful unidentified-orange-stuff and chips lunch though. NEVER go before you’re a parent (I don’t know why you would) – but not even for a birthday party. It will put you off kids for life. Guaranteed a good night’s sleep though – winning.
  • Village Halls. I love a good village hall. It transports me back to my many, many hours of dancing lessons, is normally home to some brilliant local characters, smells dodgy but nostalgic, and has every kind of use from baby classes to birthday parties to band practice. Find your local one if you’ve never been, but be prepared to pick rice cake and squished Haribo off your shoes for days after.
  • ‘Playdates’. Luckily for me, the friends I have in this area have kids of a similar age to M, so his ‘playdate’ is basically mine too. Hideously pretentious word though (almost in the same league as ‘selfie’, bleurgh), and I fear for a future of organised fun at houses where I’m forced to get on with the parents just because our little darlings have hit it off. “Mummy needs to pop and buy some quinoa at Waitrose after your playdate at Tiberius’ house. Yah.”
  • The doctors. Ok, so clearly I had been before children, but not every sodding week. I’m on gossip terms with the receptionists now, and we have a favourite chair and magazine (they never change, and God forbid if it’s not there). Sad times.

On this magical rollercoaster of parenting wonderment, I’m sure I will have many more to add. What’s new to your vocabulary? Where have you started going since children entered your lives? Go oonnnn, give us a giggle.

Kimberly x

Twin Mummy and Daddy
You Baby Me Mummy
Tammymum

19 Comments

  1. Sunita

    Nice reading your cheery post this morning. What a day. Anyway back to Mediam Mummy land, loving the idea of using cross instead of angry! I still avoid soft play if I can manage it 😉 and yes I love a good village hall too!!!
    See you on Saturday for #blogfest16 fun X Sunita

    Reply
    • kimberly

      What a morning indeed. Can’t think of much else! See you Saturday #BlogFest16

      Reply
  2. Sunita

    Media Mummy Land not Mediam mummy! Whoops. Fingers still in shock from today’s news.

    Reply
  3. oursweetviolet

    I love love LOVE this post! ‘Careful’ is another word I use all the time now. Up the stairs, in a shop, crossing the road, eating out…’careful’. LOVE your blog!

    Reply
    • kimberly

      Oh thank you so much! Really means a lot as I’m sure you know ? Ha – yes ‘careful’ is a good one too. This list will be never ending I’m sure! X

      Reply
  4. Catriona

    Enjoyed this post 🙂
    All so relatable! I say the word nicely way too often, and feel like I spend my life on garden centers – I don’t even have a garden! X

    Reply
    • kimberly

      That is classic ? x

      Reply
  5. diynige

    What a lovely post made me smile and love the use of the word cross brilliant Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    Reply
  6. serenityyou

    OMG I say all of those thing now I am a parent! #FamilyFun

    Reply
  7. themuddledmother

    Haha this is a great idea for a blog post. I had never noticed until reading this how much time I spend going to the garden centre now #familyfun

    Reply
    • kimberly

      Crazy isn’t it?! I mean, garden centers!

      Reply
  8. amytreasure0

    Ah yes, the good old garden centre! Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

    Reply
  9. Lucy At Home

    Hehe I love this so much! I can see myself in every one of these! Sometimes I feel like my default response is ‘in a minute’ because there’s always something on my to-do list. I’ve also started visiting Garden Centres. I’m sure I’m at least 30 years too young, but the christmas lights are soooo pretty! #FamilyFun

    Reply
  10. mrsmummyharris86

    I love parent dates that are your mates. It’s brilliant to not be all polite and you can be honest and say “yeah my kids being a fucker today” and not be judged haha #familyfun

    Reply
    • kimberly

      Totallly. It’s the best. And you get a break while they play together. Hurrah! X

      Reply
  11. twotinyhands

    I think i probably say all of these!! My favourite place to go is the local mini zoo. I haven’t really gone to the garden centres much because of all the breakable son the shelves! I’m sure if my local one had Lego it would be amazing!! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun

    Reply
  12. tammymum

    Hahah I think I agreed to pretty much every single one of those. I say all the above and. Ow go to all the above for no other reason than the kids! Thanks for sharing at #familyfun

    Reply
  13. Lucy's Locket

    Oh yes! I feel strange every time I say ‘put her down’ too!

    Reply
  14. SD Gates

    Absolutely agree with all of these – except I have some American variations. The go to place for running around mid-winter in Colorado – was the mall, and the zoo if it wasn’t freezing cold. Also my “in a minute” was “Just hold on – 2 seconds” which I suspect may come from my Australian heritage. Of course 2 seconds is a nebulous amount of time, can actually be from 5 minutes to several weeks. My kids figured that out early and would say “Is this 2 seconds in real time or in Australian time?”
    Great post!!!!!

    Reply

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