The Noises of Parenting: a silly poem.

Sun 16 Jul 17 | Just for Fun, Mummy Stuff | 2 comments

Wahh goes the sound of the newborn stirring

Bang goes the sound of the toddler’s drum

OWW yells Dad when he stamps on Lego in the dark

Straiiiin goes the sound of a dirty bum


SHOES! cries Mum grabbing baby who’s crawled off once more

Come ON now PLEASE? Shoving snacks into a bag

Slam slam clunk click brum brum they’re off at last

Just wait until at six o’clock I hand you to your Dad


Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy 90 times an hour

She snatched the car AGAIN, I was playing with it – MINE!

Dinner ‘eddy? Dinner ‘eddy?” Smash clang mash the pots

Crick-Crack as Mum twists the cap right off the wine


Crunch, munch, What’s for pud? SHHH I’m watching Pointless

A creepy dying battery as a singalong book wails

Splish splash in the bath, calm down now I’m soaking!

The wine and milk’s downstairs oh bums, that’s two big Mummy fails.


Dry dry, brush, sob, chasing down the landing,

Glugging milk and ‘one more page?’ til lights click out

Mwah mwah goodnight kiss, now stay in bed you monkeys

Don’t want to hear you padding ‘cross the landing or I’ll shout


Your day good? My day good? Let’s cook and watch some telly.

The savouring of silence when the monitor shrieks

It must have been so quiet when these kids of ours weren’t here at all

And now we need those panpipes in a spa retreat for weeks.


The kids are sleeping, Netflix on. It’s time to chill, phewee.

One ep down it’s only 10, let’s deffo watch one more!

Despite the bangs of gunshots in that series you’ve been loving

The only noise that’s coming from the sofa is a snore…


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Featured image credit: Shutterstock / NoraVector


  1. Rhyming with Wine

    Oh I love this! It feels like you know my life and have rhymed it! Soundtrack of my day right here! 💜 x

    • Kimberly

      Us parents hear the same old crap every day, right?! 🙈


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I’m Kimberly, a London/Surrey based juggler of many balls including a TV career, motherhood & this blog malarky. Quite a lot of people follow me apparently, although about 65 million others in the UK don’t. But hey – sometimes the cool crowd is small…


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