Me. Not Mummy.
I’m on the plane, alone. No children, no husband, just me. For the next two days I shall be Kimberly – not Mummy. It’s very strange. And bloody brilliant.
I thought I was going to write a gushy post about how much I will miss my squishy baby and chatty little boy. About how, when I crept out of the house in the dark this morning and looked at my gorgeous little girl in her sleep sack, bum in the air, little nose snuffling, I couldn’t bear to leave her. How when I sat drinking coffee at the gate just now, Whatsapping pictures of planes to M while he ate his Weetabix back at home with Daddy, I felt my heart throbbing to leave the country without him.
I felt all those things. But I also feel amazing.
Truth is, I bounced onto the transfer bus in the chilly pitch black, chatted to everyone around me (who’s more awake at 6am than the mother of a 10 month old?), had a little snooze while we were delayed on the tarmac and took off, read the paper… and this is only 3 hours into my two days.
I’m feeling very lucky and so excited to be jetting off to see my friend in France. Looking forward to eating my body weight in bread and drinking bottles of red (read: two glasses before falling asleep but hey, let me dream a little here). Having actual full conversations without getting cut off to shout ‘WOW’ or ‘really?’ or ‘let your sister have it for goodness sake!’ every other sentence.
I wonder if I look like a Mum without the children. The people sitting either side of me as I type have no idea I’d normally be scooping up toast and fruit and cereal off the floor right now, trying to figure out when the hell I’m having my shower and chucking food into a Paw Patrol lunchbox whilst wrestling with a surprisingly strong and already nap-ready baby. For all they know, tapping away on my little iPad keyboard I could be writing a very important and shouty Memo to all my underlings at the London office (does anyone say Memo anymore?). I might have to take a very urgent call the moment we land and yell ‘if it’s not on my desk by the time I’m back in the City, heads will roll!’. Just for effect.
The children are my world. We have so much fun. I love them very much. Blah blah etc etc. But every parent is also a normal non-parent under all the parenty crap. And I refuse to feel guilty about some time out being me, not Mummy.
Thanks to Sarah Legge Photography for the featured image of the scamps and I at home.