Having just enjoyed a lovely night ‘out out’ with some pals tonight, here are some simple things that I suddenly realised I could do as a child-free grown up person type for a change.

– I can sit wherever the hell I like on the train and not on the flippy chairs next to the smelly disabled loo with buggy space.

– I don’t have to enthusiastically point out landmarks/sirens/large vehicles/animals that I see. Although the urge to do so anyway is stronger than you can imagine.

– I can jog across the traffic lights safely just as they’re about to turn.  Living on the edge!

– On the same theme, I can press the button myself for a change. Enjoyable.

– I don’t need to base my eating or drinking hole choices on baby change facilities. Winning. Although I did clock that they were decent in Banana Tree, Clapham…

– I can go up and down steps! As many as I like! Who’d have thought!

– I can hold a conversation. Yes, just the one. Not several at the same time whilst being “Mummy mummy mummy-ed”.

– I don’t have to cut up someone else’s food and blow on it while mine goes cold. Now that is a treat.

Also, it made me realise there are a lot of people in the world without kids. Billions. Certainly in London anyway. And they’re all incredibly good-looking. And go out after 7pm – gasp. However, they wouldn’t be seen dead with their rooty hair scraped back in a crap ponytail from a day child-wrangling, a milk sicky top and ill-fitting ancient jeans I put on all the time as I’ve no idea what the hell size I am these days.

Ahh. My legs are all nice and stretched out on the train home in a comfy seat while i gaze out the window, read my book or look at my phone when I feel like it. But I can’t wait to go and check on my little rascals the minute I get in…